PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
