Duck Duck Cougar?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
