Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
