Me. At least after what I've been through.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
