we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
