I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize