It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
