Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
