just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize