On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
