Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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