ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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