I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
