1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
