Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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