I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
