Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
