Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
