I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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