It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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