Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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