Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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