I will die if light touches me.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
