It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
