I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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