just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
