I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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