I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
