Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
