Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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