East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
