According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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