K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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