She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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