And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
