i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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