@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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