He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
