Everything about him screamed your future.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
