Kiss
Puke
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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