i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
