8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
