I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
