Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
