id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
