Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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