I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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