some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
