I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
