is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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