I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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