I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
