it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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