She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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