Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
