Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
