i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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