what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
