For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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