so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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