her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
