I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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