I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
