doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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