why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
